I was thinking from the beginning that it’s cool if there’s someone responsible for you. And the very first month I really thought it would be great! Latter when I wanted to share with someone who had lived the same life in the same country … but I did a mistake, you are not allowed to share… ‘coz this can influence the business. Ok I understand…I’m not sharing anymore… I’m keeping everything inside… And this is really bad! When I was sending students abroad, I was always telling them don’t hide everything inside! Day by day it will grow and will become part of you… do share, do talk! And I was telling that the name of that process is “closing yourself”... what I’m doing right now…
Exactly, “closing myself”!!! Right now I don’t give a shit that I don’t have anyone who will call me and ask how I’m doing. I can manage without that! And I don’t need that already! And you never ask me. It’s also ok! Nobody’s bothering my life! I can spend it as I want and wont bother about anything. You don’t know if everything’s ok with me, if nobody comes in the morning with snakes… if there are still mousses in the house … if I ask for water and I never have it... When I say that I can’t go back home as there auto’s strike…he doesn’t care.. don’t even reply to my sms… ah.. who cares… she can manage… man.. and I don’t even know the buses… and I was asking you!!! Fuck!!! You’re absolutely alone in this country!!!! Neither your embassy will care nor you! Every time I’ve a feeling that he doesn’t want to talk to me. If you think it’s ok to ask a foreigner how are you, did you got drunk… and that’s it… then it’s ok. Not to overload yourself with smb’s fears or what is more… problems…I also don’t care. I will learn how to live with that, without you even knowing.
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